Drug tests are part of sports. Indeed the bane of some athletes existence, forever trying to beat drug tests to gain a competitive edge on their competition. However, some athletes despise the drug tests for a very different reason and that’s because some drugs being tested for are on the list of banned substances despite having no discernable performance enhancing qualities like steroids and will disqualify them from racing or playing in their particular sport of choice.
Yes, marijuana is on the banned substances list and every single athlete that uses it is unsure why; people like Michael Phelps, Nick Diaz, and Allan Iverson. Even the great Arnold Schwarzenegger was a user.
Enter Chris Barnicle
He is the self-proclaimed “world’s fastest stoner”. Chris is a distance runner and as such has or rather had (since he is no longer running competitively) the challenge of being known as a stoner but needing to be clean to pass drug testing.
Chris actually become famous amongst his group of friend for passing drug tests, tests that he shouldn’t have passed given how little time had passed since he had last smoked and the drug testing. They liked to call them the “Great Escapes”. No word on whether it has any relationship to the Boys like Girls song of 2006 fame.
His greatest Houdini moment was making all traces of marijuana disappear out of his system a mere 36 hours after smoking it and passing a drug test. But how did he do it?
How did he do it?
Barnicle admits passing a drug test within a 36-hour window was not fun nor was it healthy, but it can be done. He says he ran 24 miles in that time and was in the sauna the entire time between classes. He drank nearly unhealthy amounts of water and cartons of orange juice. On top of that, he started drinking coffee for the first time in his life for the purpose of its function as a diuretic. All his coffees had 3 espresso shots. That could not have tasted good.
Barnicle’s marijuana use never stopped him from success on the track. In 2010, he recorded times of 13:43 in the 5,000-meter run and 28:11 in the 10,000, both personal bests.
Life after a stunted pro career
After graduating, Barnicle enjoyed a short-lived professional career that was derailed by injuries. In 2014, he launched an equally short-lived medical-marijuana business in California, called Zip Organics.
On Feb 19, 2016, Barnicle earned the dubious achievement of finishing last in the US Olympic marathon trials. His time of 3 hours, 45 minutes was 22 minutes worse than the slowest women’s runner, and the slowest Olympic trials time by any American man or woman since at least 2000.
Barnicle was three years removed from the 2013 half-marathon time that qualified him for the trials. He said he decided to go through with Tuesday’s race less than two months ago when he learned it was in his hometown of Los Angeles. When questioned about whether he had eaten any edibles before the race, he comically replied “No comment”
Whether it’s healthy or not, you can’t argue with his results!
What do you think of Chris’ method of cleansing before testing? Do you think you have a better method? Share your insights with us on social media or in the comments section below.
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