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In a little over a week, I will turn the big 3-0. No longer will I run with the bulls I am accustomed to. Gone are the late nights partying and staying out all hours. I will transform into a hermit who is bound by a strict schedule of reading, collecting knowledge and early bed times. So it occurred to me that I should help you celebrate my transformation by offering you my birthday wish list. Help me avoid fading into technological dark ages by getting me one of these top 5 weed tech gadgets for my birthday.

1. Leaf Plug’N Plant System

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The Leaf home growing system is the first of its kind. Once you’ve planted your seeds or clones in the unit, you plug it in and monitor everything from a nifty smartphone app. The system automatically monitors pH levels, nutrient levels, temperature, and essentially everything that goes into growing the best cannabis.

Not only does it monitor everything for you, it also feeds the plants and adjusts the environment on its own. This would be perfect for me when my arthritis gets in the way of watering the plants—hint it’s my birthday soon.

2.Trim Daddy

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The Trim Daddy makes trimming a breeze. It costs cultivators an average of $200 for each pound of cannabis that they hand trim. The Trim Daddy utilizes a patent pending motor that powers a 5 blade cutting system. Customer reports suggest that the Trim Daddy can plow through a pound of green in just 1.5 hours – five times faster than your average scissors.

Do you know how long it would take a decrepit thirty-year-old to trim a pound of weed? You know, I could really use one of these.

3.The Firefly 2 Vaporizer

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Social Underground recently called the Firefly 2 “ The vaporizer James Bond would have”. The sleek second generation of the Firefly is top on the list of 2016’s weed tech gadgets. It has a smartphone app that allows you to adjust heating profiles to enjoy all the flavors of marijuana. I’m going to need something to smoke all that weed I am growing in the Leaf system you got me – make it a Firefly 2 please.

4.Wickie Pipe Lighter

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The Wickie Pipe Lighter is perfect for old folks like me (or stoners) who often forget where we put things. This pipe/lighter combo takes all the guess work out of smoking a bowl because the lighter is conveniently attached. Now, instead of losing a lighter or a bowl, I can lose just one item. I forget if I mentioned this already, but my birthday is coming soon.

5. Luminary Beacon

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The Luminary Beacon potency analyzer is perfect for on the go testing of your marijuana. This desktop device almost instantly gives you data on the cannabinoid content of your buds. It uses light to perform its analysis, not heat or burning, so your samples are not destroyed. If you are going to get me the Leaf system, you probably want me to know how well I am doing at “growing” weed – this’ll do the trick!

Hopefully I wasn’t too subtle about letting you know the top five weed tech gadgets on my birthday wish list. If I was, let me remind you – I would like each and every one of the gadgets I mentioned above. Hell, if you want to buy them, try them, then send them to me, I have no problem with second-hand gadgets!

Which one of these weed tech gadgets do you think I’ll get for my birthday? Let us know on social media or in the comments below.

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