Oh, the grocery store. A dangerous place for a pot smoker indeed. While some manage to come out in one piece, others get lost in the aisles and wind up spending way too much money, especially when they have the munchies. And let’s talk about the people. There are so many people that go there, which can make the entire experience overwhelming. You could run into your pastor. Or worse, that freak you went to High School with that always hit on you. If one thing’s for certain, it’s that there is never a dull moment at the grocery store when you’re stoned. Here are 10 thoughts your high self may or may not have had while shopping at the grocery store.
1. “Dude, these lights have got to go”
If only it were acceptable to wear shades in the store without looking like some sort of drug addict. Why do they make the lights so bright for, anyway?
2. “Candy, candy everywhere”
At nearly every grocery store, there is an entire aisle just for candy. Not to mention, there’s candy at like every check-out line. Don’t they realize that stoners are walking around? Sweets are tempting as is, but they are even harder to resist when you have the munchies.
3. “I hope I don’t look too stoned”
Meanwhile, you’re walking funny, eyes are blood shot, and you reek of pot. But as long as you don’t make eye contact, you should be fine, right? Plus, you can give yourself a quick spray in the perfume section.
4. “Buy one get one free? You don’t say”
One thing every shopper likes to see is “buy one get one free” deals. But when you’re a pot smoker, and it’s your favorite snack that’s on sale, now that’s dangerous.
5. “Jokes on them, I’m here for the free food”
Have you seen the prices on food lately? If you spent nearly as much on bud as you did on food, you’d be set for weeks. For that reason, you sometimes just hit up the store for the samples. That way, you can still eat and stock up on your “vegetables.”
6. “On a scale of 1-10, I can’t”
Between all the people and the millions of food choices, grocery shopping is straight up exhausting. In reality, you’re only there for maybe an hour, but it feels like an eternity when you’re high.
7. “Ah, that feels nice”
Whenever you need to cool off, all you have to do is head on over to the milk. The frozen section is where it’s at, too. And if you’re lucky, some grocery stores have one of those walk-in beer coolers.
8. “If that kid could stop crying, that would be great”
No matter the time of day, there’s always at least one screaming child running around the grocery store. From time to time, they may even accidentally run into you. But not without catching those hands they won’t. Just kidding. Still, it’s enough to make you want to end the trip right then and there and run home to your pipe.
9. “And here comes nosey Barbara”
If anything is promised, it’s that you will run into someone you know at the grocery store. And it’s always people that you don’t want to see, like your mom’s best friend or someone you went to school with back in the day.
10. “At last, time to get the hell up out of here”
The best part of grocery shopping is leaving the store, going home to eat up all your new snacks, and smoking more weed when you’re done.