Few situations distress an eager stoner more than having weed without anything to smoke out of. Lucky for us, resourceful hippies discovered ages ago that ordinary apples transformed wonderfully into functional smoking pipes. 

Naturally hollow, abundant, and equipped with a built-in bowl shape, apples provide the perfect emergency smoking apparatus for ganja connoisseurs caught in a bind. Plus, the fruity essence imparts a sweet flavor into the smoke for added tasty terpenes. 

With just a few household items and a couple of easy steps, you’ll learn how to DIY an apple pipe ready for blazing in no time! Here is the definitive guide to crafting this classic stoner necessity from scratch.

• 1 Apple – Nearly any variety works, but smaller types fit better in your hand. We recommend Gala, Red or Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, Fuji or Honeycrisp.
• Pen or Pencil – A ballpoint pen or standard pencil/pen will work. Wood offers better stability. 
• Tinfoil – Standard aluminum foil from the kitchen. Approx 2-3 inches needed.
• Scissors or Knife – Any basic blade for poking holes. 
• Lighter & Bud – What’s an apple pipe without some dank sticky to smoke?

Step 1 – Make the Bowl 

• Start by puncturing a cone-shaped hole near the top of the apple using the pen or pencil at about a 30-45 degree angle. 
• Twist the pen around to hollow out ample room for weed to fill later. Widen it gradually in a cone/funnel shape down into the apple’s flesh, creating a sizable bowl for ground bud.
• The goal is to bore out enough apple flesh to fill with crushed greens, so keep twisting and reaming out more width and depth for maximum bowl space without breaking through the other side. 
• Remove the pen/pencil once you’ve carved ample room for loading ground weed later on. 

Step 2 – Create the Carb 

• Now comes vital airflow control! Take scissors or a knife and puncture a small hole horizontally into the flesh near the bottom side of the apple, opposite the weed bowl.
• This little hole serves as the carb to control suction. Use the blade edge to hollow a tunnel running parallel through the other side to enable pulling smoke when uncovered by your finger later on.
• Make sure to carve open both ends rather than leaving a covered dead-end for necessary airflow when smoking. 

Step 3 – Add Crutches (Optional) 

• At this point, your apple pipe offers full functionality. But veteran stoners often add a crutch tip for extra filtering and mouthpiece comfort. 
• Take a small piece of tin foil and roll/fold it lengthwise into a long, skinny crutch shape (like a thin paper filter for a joint). 
• Stuff tightly into the pipe’s mouth end, allowing enough for your lips or fingers to poke out. The crimped foil catches ash and debris as you inhale for cooler, cleaner hits. 

Step 4 – Start Smoking! 

• Take your freshly carved apple pipe masterpiece and pack finely ground or broken-down cannabis herb into the carved-out bowl section. 
• Cover the carb fully with a finger, then use your lighter flame to ignite the green contents while slowly inhaling on the opposite end. 
• Once smoke sufficiently fills the chamber, release your finger from the carb for airflow while continuing to suck in smoke. 

Congratulations – your first apple pipe hit ever! Relish the fruity terpenes blending with cannabis undertones for a sweet flavor experience. 

Pro Tips 

• Consider improvising a stable base if your apple wants to tip over using tinfoil, modeling clay, Playdoh, or similar adhesion constantly. 
• Line the bowl or chamber with foil to prevent sucking through holes that burn lips.
• Add ice cubes inside larger apples through carved holes for extra cooling effects.
• Use disposable chopsticks as extended mouthpieces for longer sessions without burning lips or fingers on cherry embers. 
• Employ paper clips as impromptu apple pipe cleaners when resin gunks up the chamber after lengthy use. 

Impress friends with your 420 skills while enjoying terpene-rich fruity vapor. An apple a day keeps the doctor and weed droughts away.