Now You Can Get Stoned and Play Skyrim Anywhere
The company behind Skyrim is rolling out a game that’ll be compatible on everything from mobile phones to VR headsets.
A few years ago, I fractured both of my pinky knuckles at once in a very unlucky, very stupid skateboarding accident. At the time, I was waiting tables so that was also a one-way ticket to three weeks of unpaid sick leave. With your hands in two ulnar gutter casts, there’s not much you can do to entertain yourself. You definitely can’t skate and never should again, according to your doctor. You can, however, just barely grasp an Xbox controller, which means that you can get stoned as shit and play Skyrim.
While I won’t go so far as to say that Bethesda Game Studios saved my life, I will say they did a ton for my mental health that month. But the magic combination that is cannabis and Skyrim is not something that’s restricted to periods of recovery. I’d argue that getting high and losing yourself in Tamriel is a borderline universal experience at this point.
Now, as Bethesda recently announced at E3, we never have to be without that experience again. Their new mobile game, The Blades, isn’t technically under the Skyrim banner, but it’s about as close as you can get on a mobile phone. And just really, really good in general. Better yet, it’s free-to-play.
Even better yet, the Skyrim-inspired game will eventually work across platforms, from the latest gen consoles to PC computers and fancy VR headsets. And you’ll be able to play with your friends across all of them.
The Blades has not been announced for Alexa (yet?!). The game’s premise is that you, a member of the elite Blades, return to your hometown to find it busted up. Of course, to restore it to its former glory, you have to run around fighting all manner of eldritch horrors and wild beasts and collecting fancier and fancier loot.
You can do this in three modes. One is The Arena, whose purpose should obvious. Then you’ve got the Abyss, a never-ending survival dungeon, and The Town, which is more of a traditional single-player questing mode. However, the game is very multiplayer and you can visit your friends’ towns to see what they’re up to as well.
All the same rich Skyrim character creation is there, along with what looks to be a good bit of city building. Movement happens via the dual-stick model or you can also point and click. Thanks to that aspect, the game is playable in both landscape and portrait view, something that Bethesda’s Todd Howard said in his E3 reveal speech was very important to the studio.
“You never know when you’ll need a free hand,” he joked, pausing for just long enough, before clarifying that the free hand was, “To hold your coffee, degenerates!”
Or, perhaps, your joint?
It isn’t out until September, but sign up for the beta here.