There’s just something in almost every stoner that makes them want to smoke weed in public. Maybe it’s the natural desire for rebellion, particularly when it comes to a plant that your government, parents, and teachers have long tried to prevent you from using without reasonable justification. Or maybe it’s an American rite of passage—no, duty. Just ask Thomas Jefferson himself, who famously said: “If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so.”
How to smoke weed in public without getting caught
Smoking weed in a public outdoor space is pretty straightforward. (Just make sure no cops are around and then go for it!)
So we’re going to focus on smoking weed in a public indoor space.
The easiest way to pull this off is with a bong. Aside from a small bong that can fit easily in your backpack, you’ll only need two main tools to pull this off: a resealable water-bottle and an effective “blowie.” If you want to be truly safe when you smoke weed in public, it’s recommended that you buy a professional grade blowie—they’re available at most headshops (even in states where weed isn’t legal) and are well worth the investment. However, if you’re not able to afford this, the best DIY blowie is a thick towel, folded as many times as possible.
Optional items include: a pack of gum, cologne, and a cellphone with an alarm setting.
When trying to smoke weed in public, bathrooms are your friend; single person bathrooms with a locking door are your best friend. Start out by walking into the bathroom stall and sitting down on the toilet as if you’re just there to do your business. Then, discretely take out your bong, water-bottle, and blowie. Quietly fill your bong with water. Pack yourself a small enough bowl that you can clear it in one hit.
This is where the optional cell phone with an alarm will come in if you so choose. If you’re in a public bathroom with lots of other people, set off your phone alarm while you’re smoking to prevent them from hearing the telltale noise of a bong being ripped.
After you’ve cleared your bowl, make sure to blow all of the smoke carefully into the blowie. If you’re using a folded up towel, make sure to press it firmly to your lips so that no smoke escapes. (It’s probably best to practice this in a non-public setting first to get the hang of it.) If done properly, there should be no smell or smoke left in the air.
Once you’re done, simply pour the bong water back into your water bottle or into the toilet. If you have gum, use it to cover up the weed smell on your breath. Put your bong back in your backpack, and walk out of the bathroom confidently.
Congratulations, you’ve successfully smoked weed in a public place. Thomas Jefferson would be proud.