Why Rapper Vince Staples started a ‘GoFundMe’ for himself
He’s asking for $2 million.
Since breaking into the mainstream with his debut album ‘Summertime ’06,’ Vince Staples has been pleasing his fans with tracks like ‘Prima Donna,’ ‘Rain Come Down’ and ‘Norf Norf.’ And while his albums, like last year’s ‘Big Fish Theory,’ continue to pack in critical acclaim, it would appear this appreciation is not shared by everyone. So to better accommodate his haters, Vince Staples is willing to barter with them. He is offering to vanish off the face of the earth, for a price.
“First and foremost I hope you’re having a really great day, I really do,” says Staples in his GoFundMe campaign video, sitting on a chair in an empty yet color coordinated room. “Second, we’ve got a lot of complaints about our recent shows, performances, energy on stage, production choice. I think one person said ‘it sounds like we’re rapping on robot video game beats.’ We would like to apologize for that… WE would like to give you an alternative.”
The deal Vince Staples is offering is simple. If Vince Staples’ crowdsourcing campaign reaches $2 million dollars, he will “shut the fuck up forever.” No more songs. No more interviews. No more special appearances. He’ll move to Palmdale, California, support his charities, adopt a puppy, buy a Honda and retire at 24. “Get off of my dick or fund my lifestyle,” wagers Vince Staples.
The whole campaign, however, is nothing more than a clever preview ahead of Vince Staples’ newest track ‘Get The Fuck Off My Dick.’ Which, according to critics and myself, slaps. So another big win for Vince Staples. And good thing too. As of this writing, Staples’ crowdsourcing campaign has only reached $2,000. Guess you can’t monetize the hatred against you if you don’t actually suck. Better luck next time, beloved and successful rapper Vince Staples. Nice try.