Heaven may not be within reach. But Taco Bell surely is, and well, that’s sort of the same thing. Of course, healthier folks will turn their nose up at the so-called mystery meat. As for a stoner with one hell of an appetite, not a chance. From Doritos Locos tacos to beefy Frito burritos, Taco Bell has a little something for everyone. And that’s why it’s one of the best places to go to when you’re high as pie. Mmm..pie, too bad they don’t serve pie, but anyway, here are 6 thoughts you’ve had while stoned at Taco Bell.
1. “How do you modestly say that you want everything?”
Trying to decide on what to eat when you’re high is not easy. But when you’re at Taco Bell, a lot more critical thinking is involved. That’s because literally everything there is delicious. You want to pick one of everything, but you also don’t want to be the laughing stock of T-Bell. You’re way too stoned for all that attention.
2. “Baja Blast…come to mama!”
Or to papa, Baja Blast is for everyone. And it’s not soda that you can find everywhere, which is yet another reason why Taco Bell is the shit. After one sip of its tropical goodness, you’ll be blasted straight to paradise. Oh, and it’s an excellent remedy for cotton mouth, so there’s that.
3. “Who comes up with these sayings on the sauce packets and why haven’t they hired me?”
Don’t lie; while you’re waiting on your order, you totally check out all the profound sayings on the sauce packets. In fact, you’ve probably even kept a few just because you liked what they had to say. Naturally, you can’t help but wonder who the genius is behind the operation. If T-Bell is hiring people just for that, then you’re signing up ASAP. You may or may not have already come up with a few ideas.
4. “12 tacos?! Shut up and take my money!”
What’s not to love about the taco 12 pack? Not only can you customize it, but you also have plenty left to eat on for the next few days. Well, unless you have a severe case of the munchies. In that situation, it might last until the next day tops.
5. “I could so get married here”
If the thought of tying the knot at Taco Bell has ever crossed your mind, then you’re in luck. Believe it or not, you actually can get married at Taco Bell. But only at the one in Vegas. Still, that’s like a stoner’s dream come true.
6. “They have a dollar menu?! Pardon me while I live más”
For the pot smoker that’s on a budget, there’s the dollar menu. You can’t get a plain ol’ taco for four quarters, but you can get a shredded chicken mini quesadilla, which is the bomb when you’re baked. And for dessert, there’s the two pack of Cinnabon Delights. You could even add a few more things to the order and still have money left over for a bag of bud. Now that’s what you call living más.