Thanks to inventive entrepreneurs, long gone are the days of skunky pot brownies and backwoods that fall apart in your hands. While the growing cannabis market has introduced us to some tasty medicated desserts, the selection isn’t all dark chocolate and sour gummies. I’ve recently tried some bizarre products that have made me wonder: just why?
Here’s our list of the most unconventional cannabis products, from effective to gimmicky.
I would be remiss to make a list of odd cannabis products without talking about weed lube. Infused lubricant is not a new phenomenon—sites from VICE to GQ have covered it simply because it’s taboo. The consensus on weed lube, unfortunately, has been that while it’s a fun novelty product, it doesn’t accomplish much beyond a tingle. If you own weed lube and are disappointed with the results, I can attest to the potency of using the product as a tincture. It is safe for consumption although I feel compelled to warn you that it did take away my ability to read for a couple hours.
If you’re willing to spend $12.00 on a nasty flavored water that tastes somewhat like a bottle of vitamin water that’s been left uncapped for a day, then infused water is the product for you. I personally have never enjoyed cannabis beverages as their insanely high potency only allows for two to three sips. A couple small sips to get you high might be nice in terms of efficiency, but it defeats the purpose of a drinkable product as it does nothing to quench your thirst and practically begs you to take a higher dosage than is responsible. Some wellness brands like Puration offer CBD-only products meant to relax your body and relieve pain while you exercise. These products might work, but in my experience, you’re better off with a CBD lotion.
When I first thought of this article, the only thing on my mind was American Baked Co’s Tomato-Basil Soup Mix. The 10 milligram THC packets seemed like the perfect way to medicate on camping trips, cold winter nights and lazy Sundays. Unfortunately, the reality of the product is a far cry from what is advertised as a “mind blazingly good” soup. The goopy inedible mess is just not a successful execution of a promising concept.
Remember Listerine strips? Venture Capitalists sure do, and they’ve brought us the same technology but medicated. The “cannastrips” are translucent strips that quickly dissolve under the tongue and absorb cannabinoids into the system in five to fifteen minutes. They’re marketed as a non-smoking alternative to cannabis for pain patients, but I see them as everything bad about tinctures (the lingering unpleasant taste, holding oil in your mouth) with the added benefit of feeling the strip dissolve into a slimy mucus that you swallow.
As more research into cannabis revealed its potential for pain management, it was only a matter of time before someone began selling transdermal patches. The patches, which are sold for recreational purposes in some states too, offer a very different sort of high than smoking or edibles. They’re “time-release,” which means that they consistently release THC into your bloodstream through your skin over time. They can last up to eight hours and users often report not feeling overly high at any point.
Suppositories are particularly good for patients who need effective and immediate relief. They take about 10 to 15 minutes to kick in, and the body absorbs about eighty percent of the cannabis, compared to fifteen percent when smoked. Foria also offers a vaginal suppository (aptly named the “weed tampon”) for severe menstrual cramps. That being said, I’m not sure why my budtender actively advertises them to me on a weekly basis. I’m not going to kink-shame you, but, if you don’t need to, there are a lot of other ways to get high than sticking a pill up your butt.
Call me crazy but I think this is a great idea. The anti-inflammatory properties of cannabis make this a potentially exciting new product for millions of Americans who suffer from gum disease. Of course, this is no substitute for annual cleanings, but this product exemplifies the many ways in which cannabis might improve our everyday lives.