Earth desperately needs these insane drugs from the Rick and Morty multiverse
Photo courtesy of Rick and Morty
Fictional universes are full of awesome drugs that don’t really exist. Whether it’s HFS from 21 Jump Street or Moloko from A Clockwork Orange, fictional drugs are always fun to think about. But none top the fictional drugs in the Rick and Morty multiverse.
Rick likes to drink. Which is a total shame, because even the boring real world has better, more interesting drugs than alcohol to consume. Still, Rick (at least, Rick C-137) has access to some of the coolest fictional drugs ever thought up by writers.
Kalaxian Crystals (K-lax).
Klaxian Crystals are a dangerous combination of rare and addictive. Rick is so focused on getting high, he doesn’t even care that Aberdolph Lincler sacrificed his life to get them. But, the high does look like a lot of fun. Rick’s eyes turn turquoise, and he invents a song and dance basically on the spot.
K-lax doesn’t last very long though, and before we see what else Kalaxian Crystals can do, Morty throws them away to stop Rick’s sweet party.
Perspective Enhancing Alien Pheramones.
Not much is said about Perspective Enhancing Alien Pheramones (PEAP), but we do know that you can smoke them out of a laser hooka, and they look a little bit like weed. We don’t get to see what happens, or what the high is like when people smoke these pheromones, but we do learn they’re very powerful.
Rick breaks out these pheromones because he’s in a petty pissing match with the President of the U.S. He brings diplomats from Israel and Palestine to a Star Wars cantina, and they get high and sign the Kind of Obvious if You Think About It Accords, ending the conflict. Whatever the high is like, the world could definitely use some Perspective Enhancing Alen Pheramones right now.
Mega Seeds are a source of endless debate among Rick and Morty fans. In the first episode, Rick says he needs these seeds for his work but doesn’t elaborate much beyond that.
This ambiguity has spurred endless debate among Rick and Morty fans, and even lead to some fan theories that say the reason Rick is so smart is because he doesn’t actually drink booze, but some kind of Mega Seed juice.
All we know for sure about Mega Seeds is that if inserted rectally, they give whoever takes them temporarily super intelligence. While that sounds amazing, these seeds have a rough come down. It’s 72 hours long and involves excruciating pain and a total loss of mental and physical faculties.
Rick Potion No. 9
You’d think Rick Potion No. 9 would be the safest, best drug in the universe because Rick made it himself. There are some pretty terrible side effects, though. The drug is supposed to make Morty’s crush fall in love with him, but because she has a cold, that effect spreads across Morty’s school. Then the entire planet. When Rick tries to fix the issue, he turns everybody into disgusting Cronenberg monsters. Actually, Rick potion No. 9 is basically how the Reefer Madness crowd used to think about weed, except it’s actually dangerous.
Worm Hole Tripping.
While Rick, Jerry, and a murderous alien are on a spaceship passing through a wormhole without protection, they experience a joint psychedelic adventure, where their consciousnesses fuse to each other, and with time itself.
The trip is similar, if a bit more vivid, than a salvia trip. Inexplicable, fractal scenes roll by. For a minute, the experience seems to deeply change everybody involved, except Rick. Rick points out the trip itself isn’t the only similarity to salvia when he says, “cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia.” So he just shoots the alien in the face.
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People are leaving angry Amazon reviews after scorching their lungs. Will the stupidity ever end?