5 signs your dealer is sketchy A-F

Time for a new source?

Jan 20, 2018

Photo by Skynesher/Getty Images

…Is it time to find a new dealer?

Ah, the challenges of living in a state where weed isn’t legal yet. Besides having to worry about getting busted for enjoying an herb that is next to harmless, you also have to stress out about where to get your weed…because, as we all know, some black market weed slingers are sketchy A-F.

Based on years of good and bad experiences, here are 5 signs that you should start looking for a new place to get your herb.

1. Your dealer keeps shorting you.

signsyourdealerissketchyaf Can you eat raw weed?
Photo by FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images

There’s nothing as maddening as saving your precious weed money for days, and then not getting what you paid for. It’s just common courtesy when you have an ongoing relationship with a weed dealer that the count should be on point. It’s never a good time to accept a short bag with an “I’ll make it up to you later” promise. Bottom line, a good dealer has your back because he or she values your business. If you’re a regular customer, your money is helping paying their rent, their car payment, and their grocery bill. If your dealer actually expends effort on shorting you a gram or three that practically screams “SMALL TIME” and it also screams “FIND ANOTHER DEALER.” (By the same token, do not, I repeat do NOT, show up short on cash. That is not cool.)

2. Your dealer won’t return calls or texts.


The relationship between you and your weed dealer is heavily dependent on communication. You call them; they sell you weed. There’s that fine line with which we’re all familiar, that internal debate in your head over how annoying your repeat texts must be vs. wanting to get your weed right now. If your dealer stops answering your phone calls or returning your texts, for whatever reason, it’s going to be difficult for you to maintain a weed supply. That probably means it’s time to start asking your weed-smoking friends for numbers.

3. Your dealer starts being tardy.


Weed dealers are already among the least schedule-friendly people on Earth. How many times have you heard, “I’ll be there in five minutes” and then you end up waiting around, bored A-F? It really shouldn’t come as a shock if you get stuck in waiting mode for a couple hours, but more than that is just pushing it.

4. Your dealer sells you weak weed.


There’s nothing as maddening as spending your hard-earned cannabis budget on sub-par weed. Remember the old axiom, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me?” Well, it applies here. Don’t keep getting burned. If your guy has nothing better to offer up than dry, crumbly weak-ass mids or seedy brick schwag then you have the wrong dealer. There’s just too much high quality flower out there these days to put up with that. If you want to check the quality of your bud, you can even test it at home. 

5. Your dealer gives you attitude.


Come on, man. You’re paying your dealer to give you weed, not attitude. If your weed dealer starts acting angry with you, for whatever reason, it’s unlikely they’ll be giving you phat sacks anymore, and quite likely they’ll make you play the waiting game. You’ve become an irritation to them. You don’t need that shit in your life. And as much as they might act like it, they’re not the only weed source in town.

Jan 20, 2018