Bud-Tinder: Swipe Right Or Budtender Delight…Or Doom
Tales from Tinder – A glimpse into what happens when your right swipe matches you with a budtender: Denver edition.
Confession: I recently downloaded the Tinder app, and I am not sure how I feel about saying, “It’s kind of fun”. I spent the last few years watching as my buddies continuously swiped left and right in search of the perfect lady. Skeptical as I was, Tinder seemed to make their phones way more exciting than mine ever was, so I gave in and downloaded the app. They were right—Tinder is fun. I had to ask myself though, “What could be more fun than just Tinder?” Answer: Tinder and weed, of course.
Do you even Tinder, Bro?
I spent a week swiping left, then right, matching with some promising prospects here and there, but nothing that kept my interest. All that changed when I matched with (let’s call her Mary-Jane). After an hour of intermittent swiping on a Tuesday,Mary-Jane and I matched and I was excited to see in her profile that she was a budtender at a local Denver dispensary.
I thought to myself, “How perfect, she loves weed, I love weed, this is going to work!” We chatted over the next few days and decided to meet up for drinks on Thursday night. I couldn’t help but wonder if a cannabis writer and a budtender meeting for drinks was appropriate, but hey we are still people, and people drink, right?
We met at Union Station in Denver; a train station that has some poorly lit watering holes scattered about its terminal. Mary-Jane arrived in a long and appropriately colored green sundress that made all the potheads turn. I stood up and introduced myself. I asked her what she would like to drink and she replied, “I’ll have a green tea.” My stomach dropped. My hunch about going for drinks was right—it wasn’t the right move.
I asked her if she was not drinking for a reason, and she told me that she wasn’t a big drinker and preferred to stay away from alcohol if she could help it. No big deal, I guess. We sat at the table while I sipped my bourbon and discussed Denver, marijuana, and our jobs. Mary-Jane was very informed about the marijuana industry as a whole, but there was something off about her presentation.
I asked her a few questions about her feelings towards CBD and the stories of its success treating children with epilepsy. Her opinion: “It’s just one big gimmick.” She went on to explain that she believed that cannabis with high THC content, can have the same effect as CBD and CBD extracts.
I vehemently disagreed and attempted to explain, that at the very least, it is important to have a non-psychoactive alternative for accessing the medicinal values of cannabis.
Life goals don’t include naysayers
The date went from a search for romance to an effort, on my part, to change the mind of a self-proclaimed cannabis expert. I couldn’t fathom how this intelligent, gorgeous, and seemingly self-aware “Tinderooni” was so blinded by the marketing efforts of her employer.
No matter what I said, no matter how many stories of anecdotal evidence I provided, she would not budge. I even considered that she was an FDA spy sent to infiltrate the mind of a CBD advocate. I was floored.
I paid the tab for my 3 bourbons and her teas. Bid her farewell, and made a b-line for my apartment. Bye Felicia (Mary-Jane).
Reflection on a Tinder fumble
I would be a fool to think that all first dates go perfectly, especially Tinder dates, but I was hopeful that we had enough in common to make it work. Boy, was I wrong. I thought about the experience for several days and came to the conclusion that we were too much alike.
We both thought we knew the ins and outs of the industry, but instead of finding common ground, we banged heads like two of those weird looking dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.
So many folks that consider themselves cannabis experts have the same issue with each other – not just on dates either. I can’t count how many times I met people who knew “the best” way to water plants, or “the best” method of drying herb. Everyone has their method and who is to say who is the best.
When “Tinderizing”, remember the old adage, opposites attract – it’s said for a reason. You love weed, she loves weed, but you might not love each other. Marijuana should bring people together, not push them apart. I suggest, if you are a self-proclaimed weed expert, that you tread lightly when matching with budtenders – your experience might not be ideal. Then again maybe it will. Til then, swipe on swipers.
Have you had any interesting Tinder dates with budtenders? Do you think opposites attract? Let us know on social media or in the comments below.