Moby claims intelligence agencies told him these shocking things about Trump’s war ambitions
“Flynn, Manafort, Kushner, Sessions, Trump, Page, etc. They’re all dirty. Just watch,” the electronic musician wrote on Instagram.
There are celebrities who moonlight in espionage. Before penning classics like “James and The Giant Peach” and “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory,” Children’s Author Roald Dahl worked as a British Spy. And by now, Iconic TV Host Chuck Barris is better known for claiming to be a CIA assassin than hosting amateur talent show The Gong Show in the 70s. Those stars were said to be selected for their magnetism, able to flirt through social circles without raising an eyebrow. So with that in mind, I ask you to be skeptical when I tell you that electronic DJ and musician Moby is now claiming to have been solicited by American intelligence agencies.
In the middle of 2017, Moby, the artist best known for helping bring electronic music to the public eye in the 90s and reminding you that he’s vegan, made a very peculiar post on Instagram.
“After spending the weekend talking to friends who work in DC I can safely (well, ‘accurately’…) post the following things,” wrote Moby. “The Russian dossier on Trump is real. 100% real. He’s being blackmailed by the Russian government, not just for being peed on by Russian hookers, but for much more nefarious things.”
Moby continues on to say that all of the conspiracies about Trump are true: that he’s acting on behalf of the Russian government, that the GOP and intelligence agencies are hoping to oust the acting American president, and that the administration will do anything to engage in war with Iran. The accompanying image was of Trump holding the shoulders of Steve Bannon, the ex-White House strategist accused of white nationalism, who has since fallen out of Trump’s graces.
“I’m writing these things so that when/if these things happen there will be a public record beforehand,” wrote Moby. “these are truly baffling and horrifying times, as we have an incompetent president who is essentially owned by a foreign power.”
Not much became of that post and no one really followed up with the musician because, y’know, it’s Moby. Who gives a shit about Moby? Well, according to Moby there is one group out there who cares about Moby: the CIA.
Flashforward to today. In a radio interview with WFPK, Moby claims that his aforementioned ‘friends who work in DC’ were none other than the CIA and that the Instagram post was made on their behalf.
“They were like, ‘This is the Manchurian Candidate,’” said Moby, “like (Putin) has a Russian agent as the President of the United States. So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, ‘Look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things just in a way that … sort of puts it out there.’”
Moby has 245 thousand followers on Instagram and one million on Twitter, but assuming there are no double dippers, the CIA still has 2.2 million followers on Twitter alone. Feeling the heat of the public (or, who knows, ol’ Chuck Barris’ ghost), Moby quickly clarified that, after dragging all of this out, he made it up. “Ha, no, the CIA didn’t ask me to post about Trump & Russia,” wrote Moby, “as much fun as that would be.”
Moby still claims that insiders are telling him that Donald Trump is hoping to get into a war with Iran and North Korea, which you do not in any way need insiders to tell you. Just in case Moby updates his personal Tom Clancy novel sometime over the next year, practice this mantra. Nobody cares, Moby. Nobody cares. No one.