Post Malone takes a quick break from rapping to hunt ghosts

“I don’t want to be here long. This whole building is so anxious and tense,” said the rapper from a former slaughterhouse.

Jan 18, 2018

Photo courtesy of Ghost Adventures

Post Malone: rapper phenomenon, bad tattoo imageboard and the man (or at least one of the men) behind the hit song ‘Rockstar’ is looking to add another bullet point to his resume: ghost hunter.

The Travel Channel’s popular reality-ish show Ghost Adventures has had 15 whopping seasons of grown men shouting into empty rooms with night vision cameras. For their newest episode, the crew invited the Syracuse rapper on board to investigate “The Slaughterhouse” in Tucson, Arizona, a former meatpacking plant. “Post Malone is really into the paranormal so when he gets here I’m going to call him ‘Ghost Malone,’” says Ghost Adventures host and don’t-quit-your-day-job comedian Zak Bagans. “He doesn’t know what the hell he’s in for.”

‘The Slaughter House’ was a commercial slaughterhouse until 2004 and has since become a Halloween haunt attraction. Bagans explains that female employees have reported strange vibes and odd bruises while having worked at the attraction, and the operating slaughterhouse once faced rumors of mixing human meat into the stock. Bagans believes these events are the work of Satan. 

PostMaloneGhostAdventures Can you eat raw weed?
Photo courtesy of Ghost Adventures

Malone arrives, looking like a body thrown up by an alligator, spitting terms like ‘spirit sweep.’ He’s quickly startled by a sequence of noises that turn out to be a raccoon on the roof, proving he’s going to fit in just fine on Ghost Adventures.

The hosts of Ghost Adventures begin to use Post Malone as any TV host would use Post Malone: as a human punching bag. Strapping Malone with only the finest pseudo-science tech, the rapper stands alone in parts of the building where odd occurrences have been described, including by a toilet that Malone describes as “crazy.”

“I signed up for this,” says an unnerved Malone. “I don’t want to be here long. This whole building is so anxious and tense.”

The episode broadcasted this week, so you can see Post Malone and a bunch of other guys incoherently panic at nothing for yourself. I also encourage you to catch Zak Bagans’ other show, Deadly Possessions, where Bagans hides from antique dolls and is gloriously stupid.

Jan 18, 2018