The ten worst weed strain names


Cat Piss, Buddy F***er and AK-47? You gotta be kidding me.

Charlie Tetiyevsky
Dec 4, 2017

Some strains have instantly recognizable, iconic names. Grandaddy Purple, Pineapple Express, Sour Diesel, and Blue Dream, for example, have all made their way into the unofficial dictionary of any decent bud enthusiast.

But with some strains, like Gorilla Glue, under litigation for violating copyright law, it’s time to take a look at strain names that should probably be retired. Some of them are offensive, some of them are confusing, and others are just plain stupid.

1. Asian Fantasy

It should be pretty obvious why this one has to go. “Asian Fantasy” is an unwelcome reminder of the days when racism was prevalent in the industry. While there’s been a big move in cities like Oakland to diversify the cannabis space, still only 17 percent of executive positions at companies are occupied by minorities. In the spirit of equality, there’s just no reason to keep this name around. The strain itself is touted as an aphrodisiac, so why not name it something that’s actually sexy?

2. Buddy F***er

Candy Skunk The ten worst weed strain names

This hybrid is named after someone who screws their friend over for selfish reasons. Call me bias, but that sounds more like something that would happen to someone who is wasted. In the name of destigmatizing pot (and promoting truth), maybe we should rename this one something a little less hostile?

3. Cat Piss

Canna Tonic by Vancouver Island Exotics The ten worst weed strain names

The name “Cat Piss” isn’t offensive, it’s just gross. Apparently, the name matches the weed’s unpleasant smell.

4. Chiquita Banana

The Hulk  The ten worst weed strain names

When it comes to inappropriate names, Chiquita Banana’s doesn’t immediately stand out. But the high-THC strain still references a company that is well-known for its negative effects on the environment and subjecting its workers to heinous conditions where they are not paid enough to cover the cost of living.

5. LSD

LSD The ten worst weed strain names

This indica-dominant hybrid’s name doesn’t do anyone any favors when it comes to distinguishing psychedelics and marijuana. Granted the name, like most, is probably meant to be pretty tongue-in-cheek. But still, calling a strain LSD when we’re just on the cusp of overcoming Reefer Madness seems counterproductive.

6. Jean Guy

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In all likelihood, the name of Jean Guy has to do with its Canadian—and possibly Francophone—origins. But really, it just sounds like a dude who’s selling denim out of an unlicensed truck on the side of the road. That’s your “Jean Guy.”

7. Agent Orange

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Agent Orange is named after half of its heritage, which is split between Jack the Ripper and Orange Velvet. It might not have been the best move, however, to name a strain after a tactical herbicide used during the Vietnam War. The real Agent Orange gave veterans a host of diseases from blood cancer to nerve death.

8. AK-47

AK 48 The ten worst weed strain names

With the outright shocking amount of gun deaths in this country, it’s unclear why anyone would want to associate an AK-47 with pot. Not only have AK-47s become the deadliest firearms in the world, but there are still studies being done trying to connect marijuana with violence so it’s probably not smart to encourage that association.

9. Herijuana

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Why would a strain like Herijuana need to be gendered? The 25 percent THC strain doesn’t have any Jack Herer genetics so the name isn’t a reference to that.

10. Qwad Dawg

Best Buds Blue Dream 18 The ten worst weed strain names

This one is just silly, unless you want to sound like Tony Soprano. Say it with me: Qwad Dawg. Qwad Dawg. Qwad Dawg.

Charlie Tetiyevsky
Dec 4, 2017