Smoking weed is a pastime for many. It’s an easy way to relax and have fun. But what’s not so fun is running into your typical stoner problems that always seem to ruin the sesh.
There’s nothing worse than heading outside for a joint, bowl, or whatever satisfies your cravings, only to realize that something’s…wrong. Whether your lighter isn’t sparking, your joint is canoeing, or your downstem randomly rolled off the table and smashed to pieces, stoners have a long list of negative experiences involved in their sessions.
In this guide, we’ve gathered the top 8 most annoying stoner problems that easily ruin a sesh. Be proactive, remember them, and avoid them. After all, weed is supposed to help us relax, and making an emergency trip to the dispensary is never on your to-do list. Check out the most annoying stoner problems below.
Picture this, you just left the convenience store, and you’re ready to roll a blunt bigger than King Kong’s fingers like Wiz Khalifa. But here’s the catch, you’re rummaging through the package trying to find the loosest wrap, only to realize they’re all dry, brittle, and flakey.
Good luck trying to roll without snapping the leaf in half. Some saliva might solve the issue, but if your wrap is drenched in slobber, keep it to yourself.
We can look at this from two perspectives. One, we have the bong’s owner, who’s eager to take a hit but notices the swampy bong water hasn’t been changed in a few days. That is enough to tick off a bong user, considering they have to do yet ANOTHER task before sparking up. How annoying.
On the other hand, we can see it from the bong sharer’s perspective. Smoking dirty bong water is never fun, especially when it’s someone else’s. It’s gross, tastes nasty, and can seriously impact your lung health with time.
Rolling papers have one job: to roll and hold their place. When it comes to that old pack of papers you’ve had since high school, still sitting in the drawer of your bedside table, they likely won’t do the job.
But desperate times call for desperate measures, and perhaps these are the last papers you have. Sacrifices need to be made, whether that’s smoking a shitty joint or putting your session on hold to fetch some new papers.
Here’s something joint smokers know all too well. The dreaded canoe is when a joint is lit, and it burns unevenly, resulting in the flame carving out the shape of a canoe on your joint.
Instead of whining about it like the rest of this list, here’s what you can do to fix it. Your joint was either lit unevenly, or there’s too much airflow inside the roll, and it’s not tight enough. Luckily, these are all things you can avoid with practice.
Here’s something you can’t avoid unless you’re always extra careful with your accessories. A broken bowl piece isn’t something I’d wish on any bong user, as it can take the mood down quickly.
Whether you dropped it, watched it roll off the table, or somehow threw it across the room (yes, I’ve watched this happen), a broken bowl piece is never fun. What are you waiting for? Get your ass back to the shop and get to seshing!
This is completely separate from a broken bowl piece, but it’s just as annoying. Breaking a downstem also breaks my heart because now I have to run to the smoke shop before I can spark up. What a hassle.
Luckily, I’ve seen some downstems being held together with electrical tape that seems to last pretty long. If you’re doing this, just make sure not to cover the percs, or you’ll have to start again.
This is something completely out of your control. Unfortunately, it happens far too often. I won’t name any names, but some brands have developed a negative reputation due to their faulty cartridges.
Even if the flavors and potencies are out of this world, it means nothing if the cartridge doesn’t work. Do yourself a favor and always keep the receipt after buying a cartridge. That way, you can get your money back without a debate.
Always be careful with an open grinder. This should be stoner rule #2, right after puff, puff, pass, obviously. This is especially true if it’s someone else’s grinder, as you never want to be responsible for spilling someone’s precious, freshly-ground herb.
Always hold on tight, keep a firm grip, and ensure you place the grinder on a flat surface away from the edge. Don’t even get me started on spilling kief.