Photo by Kaya Blaze Kelley for Herb
Romantic stoner relations can vary, not only because people are different, but because both partners might not share the same love of ganja.
In today’s world, there are various forms of relationships from professional to platonic. Even family relationships have stoner-related problems. But due to the lack of popularity in weed, there are more internet searches that would lead you to believe some seriously negative shit about stoners and relationships.
Speaking as a proud cannabis enthusiast, and from the recent relationship I was in, weed had less than zero effect on my relationship. Now, this isn’t the same for everyone, obviously, but for those who see cannabis as the devil’s lettuce, you have enough issues.
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Let’s start with the uncomfortable stuff. Romantic stoner relationships could vary, not only because people are different, but also if either or both parties are stoners.
If both parties are stoners, not only is the budget for weed high but also, you definitely have a budget for weed. Finances are never a fun conversation to have, but let’s be real, the talk has to happen at some point.
If one party is the stoner, then the other party is probably used to or should get used to a lack of communication. Not for nothing, but speaking as a stoner, we are not the best at communicating. We always intend to text back, but then we get lost exploring the universe and the text is just sitting there unsent.
Of course, not everyone is like this, but we do share some of the same habits.
Speaking of habits, the stigma of smoking weed is finally fading, at least in the United States. However, many people still assume stoners are lazy, have bad personal hygiene, or only care about getting high. Because of these generalizations, many people will avoid dating a stoner.
Going into a relationship with someone having preconceived notions about them because they smoke weed is only going to prevent you from seeing and appreciating them for the unique person they are.
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Another problem that may arise, avoidance. Some people believe that others smoke to avoid psychological realities. But the truth is that we smoke to aid in the lessening of our psychological issues and physical pain.
Again, not everyone is the same. Though we all have mental inconveniences (smoker and/or non), it is best to just keep an open mind and take into consideration the reasons your partner consumes cannabis without judgment.
Now for the sex. As we all know, or should know by now, weed makes everything better.
Weed makes food taste better. Weed makes orgasms more intense.
That sweet ganja helped me discover things I could do with my vagina I had only seen in porn but didn’t think were humanly possible.
Cannabis has been around since the dawn of time; we are born with a way to receive cannabis, through our ECS. So clearly, aside from all the studies on sex and weed, we have a higher purpose in life; to get high and have amazing sex.
But really though, some dudes out there should keep their eyes on the strains they use prior to sex. Although indicas may seem to be a better choice for a body high, it tends to relax all your muscles.
Stick with the sativas or you might end up at a point where you may not be able to use one very important phallus. Poor thing can get baked too.
And ladies, there’s other parts that may feel dry besides your mouth. I mean yay for stuff like CBD or THC lubes, but sometimes the raw natural shit is the only thing that works.
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Ah yes, where we discover how all the stoners in the family are the black sheep. Ironic considering the older folks in our families were born when drugs were good and pure.
As some old school parents are learning to evolve and accept that cannabis is more of a medicine than a drug, others are reluctant to change.
Talking to stubborn family members about weed is extremely important. Your family is all you have so try your best explaining and educating them about the cannabis world
And yes, families vary in every conceivable aspect so let’s stick with a more common practice. Someone in their late 20s/early 30s might not have much trouble talking openly about weed as say an 18-year-old.
To have the support of family is different when compared to the support of a friend. You can feel the disappointment in your parents/guardians, or any other close relative’s face when you openly talk about marijuana and that feeling almost never fades.
So how do you talk to your family about weed?
Well, for one thing don’t refer to it as weed when you start the conversation, call what it is, cannabis. A medicinal plant. It helps to understand how cannabis is more helpful to you when you describe it as it really is, medicine.
I mean it’s also a dope ass drug that brings nothing but joy, happiness, and enlightenment, but they’ll never understand that.
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Yikes, the boss versus the stoner. Who will win?
Honestly, this is probably one of my most and least favorite relationships. Genuinely, I have been blessed and cursed with the best and the worst bosses/managers/supervisors. Never anything in between. Currently, blessed with the best of the best, but they don’t need to know.
Unfortunately, the stigma still exists that “stoners are lazy”, but have the people who say that ever tried smoking and working? I would say no, mainly because they don’t want to be proven wrong.
It sucks to have this stain hanging over us, but we have been proven to be productive members of society.
Outside of the cannabis industry lies a long list of depressing dead-end jobs that may or may not turn into sad careers.
I had worked in retail/customer service for well over a decade (12 years, 4 months, and 8 days to be exact) and in all that time, weed was (and still is) my sanity.
All my higher-ups knew I smoked because, again, that is an extremely important conversation to have. Also, I was not exactly shy about it.
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Working in the cannabis industry is different. Of course it also depends on what you do. For instance, here at Herb we work closely with the Last Prisoner Project, as our mission is to free all those incarcerated for cannabis. We promote all the benefits of cannabis consumption and all the amazing things that come along with it.
So of course we tend to be higher than the average stoner. But if you work on the more business side of the cannabis industry, you probably aren’t planning a lunchtime session with that person from accounting.
Working at a regular, non-cannabis-related job will always be tricky. Some people are able to smoke and hide it well, but unless you confront your boss during the interview (or maybe after you get the job), your time there is limited.
Another example, a recent job I had I told them flat out I self-medicate because of xyz and they were perfectly understanding as I never let it get in the way of my work.
Let your bosses know ahead of time so when they see or smell you they will know. Unless it’s illegal where you live, in which case, you probably shouldn’t be smoking at work.
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Basically the people you socialize with, as you get to choose them, you will probably gravitate towards those with similar interests. Friendships are not rocket science. They do not have to be complicated.
Of course arguments will break out, but that is not a green light to be petty and cry about it. Stoner friendships are probably the most fulfilling ones you can have.
Stoners are there for each other. We understand the reasons behind the choices we’ve made. Even when meeting for the first time, we all just know.
There is a history behind cannabis, obviously, and every stoner has their stories, but listening to them tell their story or go on a crazy adventure, that’s priceless.
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Maybe not all cannabis enthusiasts, but the majority definitely love to have a good time mainly outdoors. We are hikers, campers, fishers, travelers, canoers, climbers, and so much more.
We love discovering new shit in the world from new books to new cultures, we appreciate what the world brings us. And of course, the only way to discover all this new stuff is by creating friendships.
Now when I say platonic, I don’t necessarily mean that in the literal sense of expressing nonphysical love, we actually love physical contact, we do hugs and drugs. I mean platonic in the sense that we do not let emotional feelings get in the way of hanging out with really amazing people, no matter what choices they make.
In friendships where only one party smokes, let’s just say it might get awkward. Of course the other party will always be “ok” with it, but having someone tell you that is just, well not the best feeling in the world.
Surround yourself with people who embrace you for you, not for who they think they are letting you be.
Of course, the most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. At the end of every day you only have yourself and your thoughts.
Cannabis is an amazing medicinal plant that carries an ugly stain due to people’s lack of knowledge on the subject and a 70 year long bad propaganda.
This is more than just a stigma in cannabis culture, the lack of trust creates a dark bubble that hangs over some cannabis enthusiasts. To a point where they will do anything and everything to avoid getting caught or letting anyone know they’ve smoked or currently partake in the activity.
This is the part that truly begins to affect the stoners’ relationships, having to hide who you truly are is painful enough.
Just remember: Be kind to yourself. Be accepting of those around you. Most of all, keep an open mind.