Photo by Alina Rosanova / Adobe Stock Photo
Stoners, my fellow stoners. Raise your rigs, your pipes, your percolator bongs. It’s a new year, but the times only change so much. All sorts of harsh things can drag you down and some problems are everlasting.
Every marijuana enthusiast has stoner problems, and sometimes the struggle is very real. But no need to worry, everything has a solution. Here’s a list of the 15 most common stoner problems and how to deal with them.
The absolute worst stoner problem: going dry. Just after you put down that last joint, sadness invades you and the memory of that full stash seems so distant. You can only think about the hassle of having to get out and restock, even more in these crazy times of COVID-19.
SOLUTION: Times have changed, fellow stoners. No need to scrape your pipe for resin or smoke your stems. Luckily for us, weed is now more available than ever. Next time you see yourself running out of the sticky icky, just order some online and have it delivered to your door. It’s quick, easy, and more importantly, legal.
Go check out Botany Farms’ website. They sell premium handcrafted cannabis and ship to all 50 states. With a full selection of sativa, indica, and hybrid strains, there’s something for everyone. Want our recommendation? Try their Sour Space Candy. A beautiful hybrid that’ll put you in a chill and happy mood.
Maybe your bong, pipe, or rig was broken by your cat, too-stoned friend, or even by your own hand. Regardless of the perp, the sight of shattered glass is not easy to swallow. After all, what’s a stoner to do when you’ve got a healthy helping of weed, and nothing to enjoy it through?
SOLUTION: It’s sad to see your smokable glassware damaged. But look at the bright side, it’s an opportunity to get another one. Better, nicer, and sturdier, hopefully. Brands like Session Goods make bongs and pipes that are not only practically unbreakable, they are also the most stylish smoking accessories you can get.
While a subpar joint may still be enjoyable, every stoner should be able to roll the perfect j with ease. If your rolling chops aren’t quite there yet, get practicing and avoid the embarrassment (in case it’s a group session).
SOLUTION: There’s a few ways to say goodbye to terrible joints for good. The first one, switch to pre-rolled papers like these RAW cones or King Palm’s organic leaf wraps. Second option: get an automatic joint-rolling box; you’ll get perfectly tight joints in seconds. Or finally, just learn how to roll a joint and be a good stoner for god’s sake.
We’ve all been there, you take one too many hits and you’re gone. Your plans for the day are postponed, at least for a few hours until you can get back on your feet. Nausea, light-headedness, dizziness, and paranoia are all signs there may have been a little too much THC ingested. Some people are lucky enough to never experience these anxiety-causing effects, but it can be downright scary for those who do.
SOLUTION: First of all, try to breathe deeply and get some water. No matter how scary it may be, nothing bad is gonna happen. If you feel like you need extra help, get some CBD in you. It counteracts and balances out the effects of THC. Keep a full-spectrum tincture around just in case this happens. A few drops should do the trick.
To avoid getting too high, try the DaVinci IQ2 that lets you calculate your THC or CBD intake using an app. And also, just be wary of your tolerance before smoking high THC stuff and avoid bad experiences.
BONUS SOLUTION: If you’re looking for a strain that you can smoke throughout the day and be productive, try our limited-edition Sour G CBG. It’s the perfect balance between CBD and THC. You’ll feel energized and euphoric but not stoned AND you’ll relax your body and mind without feeling like you need a nap. We guarantee you that you’ll fall in love with this stuff. Plus, it’s legal in all 50 states!
We all know that feeling. You’re about to light your joint. You reach for your pocket only to find that your lighter is gone, again. Lighters are probably one of the easiest things to lose or misplace for any stoner. If you often share your lighter with friends, then chances are you also go through many in any given year.
SOLUTION: If you know you’re prone to losing yours, just keep lots of lighters around. Buy a multipack and ensure you have enough for months. Want to get fancy? Check out this multi-purpose lighter-keychain. Not only will you ensure you never lose it by having it stuck to your keys, but you’ll also have fire any day anytime thanks to its instant match functionality. It also has a bottle opener in case you want to pair a cold one with your smoke.
As an avid stoner, it’s important to remember that not everyone appreciates the smell of weed, be it lingering on your clothing or in your room. Body spray and air freshener are essential, especially if you are expecting company. Can you imagine being hit with a surprise visit from your parents without having anything to mask the smell of your bud?
SOLUTION: If you have a serious case of weed stench, get a proper air freshener to clear up the smell. Agent 420 sells anti-odor sprays specifically designed to eliminate weed smells of the air and fabric. They even have a body spray! Another easy fix is lighting the Cannabis Killer Candle during your next sesh.
Finally, if nothing works, just switch up your routine and get a dry herb vaporizer. Since they don’t burn, there won’t be any lingering odors. And, it’s actually better for your lungs. Check out the DaVinci MIQRO; a sleek, hand-sized, high-tech device made by one of the best vape brands out there.
Unless you live with other stoners, then smoking inside can be even impossible. Let’s face it: weed can really stink up the place. And that can really piss off your roommates, parents, and neighbors. Back in the day we could just go out and take a smoke break outside. But now, thanks to COVID, that’s off the table. Besides, who doesn’t love cozying up with a nice joint?
SOLUTION: The easiest fix would be to just get a vaporizer. If you want no trace of smell, go with a concentrate device like the Dr. Dabber Switch. But if you want to stick to good old flower, then a dry herb vape like the XVAPE Aria will do the trick without costing you a lot of money.
If vapes aren’t really your thing, luckily there’s still two more ways to go for you. First one; get a smoke filter like the Smokebuddy. Just blow your smoke in it and it’ll catch any odor. We’ve tried it and it really works.
Second; use a Top Secret Stealth Genius Pipe. This three-piece device is specifically designed to trap odors thanks to its patented filtration system and covered bowl. You can take a hit and nobody will notice.
Nothing more disgusting than smoking out of a dirty bong or a filthy pipe. Even worse when they get clogged with resin and you have to get your hands involved. It’s a hassle and you’ll get that nasty resin all over your fingers for at least two days.
SOLUTION: The best thing to do is to just get into the habit of cleaning your glassware. It’s boring but vital. Here are some of the best bong cleaners out there so you don’t have to spend a lot of time doing it. Want the best of the best? Try Piece Water Solution. Just use it instead of water in your bong or bubbler. Not only will it provide better filtering, but it’ll also clean your piece as you’re using it!
If you’re dealing with a nasty pipe, go check out the KØL. An unbreakable pipe that uses a patent-pending technology to filter and cool your smoke. Besides, its design allows you to clean it by simply splitting it in half and dropping it in boiling water or using alcohol wipes. You’ll get it looking like a new device after every cleaning session.
If you smoke on the regular, then you know the frustrations. The irony is that today more than ever, many of the best employees happen to enjoy cannabis, and why not? Over half the country is legal for medical use and several states for recreational. Unjust practices that work against pot users.
SOLUTION: There isn’t any natural way to eliminate THC from your system in less than 30 days since it can still be traceable in your urine or your hair. But, there are ways to pass a drug test. You can go with THC detox drinks such as Clear Choice Rescue Cleanse that can help you eliminate traces of THC faster. If you’re in a hurry and absolutely need to pass, go with synthetic urine like Quick Luck. BUT, be aware that in some states it is illegal to use fake pee.
Unless you’re traveling to a legal state or country, the chances of securing a marijuana hook-up while on vacation will be rather slim. If you don’t leave with established connections already in place, then be prepared to occupy yourself with activities other than enjoying some good bud.
SOLUTION: We said it before and will say it again: you can buy legal weed online and have it shipped to your destination (as long as it’s in the US). Still, sometimes, when you travel, you just can’t smoke. There’s usually someone who doesn’t tolerate weed: kids, hotel staff members, your boss…
The good thing is that there’s a way to get high without nobody noticing: edibles! You can bake your own and take them with you, or you can just order them online to your destination. We bet you’re gonna love these Daily Buzz Gummies from Five CBD. With 5 mg of THC and 50 mg of CBD per piece, these treats will get you mildly high and relaxed, just what any stoner needs to be happy!
One of the very few downsides of cannabis: cotton mouth. A bad case of it can really take a toll on your experience, not to mention your health. And it’s even worse when there’s nothing around you to drink.
SOLUTION: Drink some water and keep a stocked fridge! There’s no better feeling than chugging your favorite drink when you’re having a serious case of dry mouth. Whatever you enjoy, just keep it handy.
Want to get refreshed and high? Here are some weed-infused and CBD-infused beverages you should try. For the best flavor and feeling, go with Recess. Canned sparkling water infused with 10 mg of CBD that will quench your thirst and get you in the right mood.
Choosing what to watch can be quite the task while high. It’s so easy to spend a lot of time wandering through Netflix trying to find the perfect thing. This sucks because the only reason why you got high, got some food, and put on comfy clothes was to watch something.
SOLUTION: We encourage you to make a funnel list that you can start checking off as you go, instead of having to search for ‘top-movie’ lists while you should be watching one and relaxing. If you want the best weed-related content on Netflix, click here.
We all have that one friend who got extremely high on homemade pot brownies. Heck, we’ve probably all been that friend. Badly dosed edibles are one of the most common problems for cannabis cooks out there. They’re either too potent or they have no effect at all. If they’re too strong, you probably added too much weed to the cannabutter. If the case is that you feel nothing, even after a while, then you probably messed up the decarboxylation process.
SOLUTION: First of all, you gotta remember these two key rules when it comes to edibles. One, edibles take longer to kick in since they enter through your digestive system. Two, they will be stronger precisely because they enter your body that way and have a higher cannabinoid concentration. The best thing to do is just learn how to make cannabutter or read this article to learn to make edibles without infusing.
If you’re constantly cooking edibles, then we highly recommend you try the Ardent FX (a.k.a the Easy Bake Oven for cannabis). In it, you’ll be able to decarboxylate, infuse, and bake perfectly dosed goodies with the push of a button. No experience needed, no complex processes.
It can sneak up on the best of us. You and your friends got together, bought some weed, and were ready to blaze when all of a sudden it hits you: the grinder’s missing, papers are all gone, and there’s no bong and no pipe around. It’s ten to midnight and you’re in panic mode; how fast you can get your boots on before the corner store closes?
SOLUTION: This one is a tad more complicated and requires some art and crafts experience. Bottom line is: you’re gonna have to learn to either grind without a grinder or make a grinder if that’s the case. And if what you need is something to smoke out of, then a homemade bong or an apple pipe are your best options.
Other than a goofy smile, the only thing that makes a person noticeably stoned is their red eyes. It is one of the most common physical symptoms of getting high. Red eyes are not actually a bad sign, though; they just mean that the cannabis you’re using is doing one of the medicinal things it is supposed to do. However, there is still, unfortunately, a stigma attached to having red eyes.
SOLUTION: If you feel like your eyes are too red to go out but it’s nothing urgent, wait it out. They should be back to normal in a few hours. If you absolutely need your eyes white, get the kinds of eyedrops they sell in the pharmacy such as Clear Eyes or Visine.
But be advised, those drops are not to be used on a very regular basis since it can be harmful to your eyes. You could also turn to the kinds of foods that constrict the blood vessels again, such as caffeine and chocolate.
How many did you identify with? Share this with your friends and let’s all solve these common stoner problems for good!
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